My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she told me i tasted like america
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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