I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
