Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize