If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
