dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
