turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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