I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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