Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
