meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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