I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
