You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think a kid would responsible me up
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
