I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
