i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am available for nakedness
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
