Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
