Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
