I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
