and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
foreskin is a definite game changer
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
