So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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