youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
