i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This baby is an asshole
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
