Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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