i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Randomize
