I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
