Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
don't judge my taste in strippers
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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