Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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