You work out of a Hotel?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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