I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize