At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
