How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
