So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
