someone get that fucking seahorse.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
