Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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