well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
