The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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