the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
