The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
