It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
