ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize