Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
