If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
