Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
