idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
