Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Boobs are out for the taking
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
