i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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