I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
