The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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