just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
