Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
