i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
