did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
