the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
