bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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