ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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