Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
