This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
