I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
