And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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