my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
