I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
