i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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