Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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