oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
