It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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