I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
