roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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