He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
