It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
